Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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