I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
