Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
