Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
