He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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