sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
