was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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