never play flip cup with pint glasses
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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