school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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