is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My pussy is not your playground.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
