It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
