she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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