Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
