Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
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Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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