I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
