new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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