Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
