Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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