so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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