I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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