Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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