we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
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You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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