does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize