i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
