OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
