there's paper in my vomit.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
did i walk over a car last night?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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