Screwed.edu
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
