how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
This couple is walking their pig around campus
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
