Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
