Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
