Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
