but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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