it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
