a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
