those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
