who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
