My first STD was from a foam party
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing