girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
