dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.