I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
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I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
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note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real