Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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