quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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