His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
