Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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