I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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