I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
