We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
