if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
