Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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