do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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