The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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