I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
