Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
