I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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