we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
