Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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