Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize