I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
