Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
