so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
