Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
