I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
