It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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