Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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