My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize