Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Can I color on your dick again?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
