I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize