The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Houston, we have a squirter
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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