Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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