He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
