She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
